Contemplating Death so as to free us to live more fully

Buddhist monks are sent to meditate on death to a cemetery for many months on end when they are newly ordained.

What are the benefits of such a practice. It seems morbid and depressing. And it seems completely opposed to the modern culture in most countries that stresses youth, activity, sex, achievement and consumption.

But in the end all of us have to die. And we meet death as we meet life – unprepared. I read somewhere that life is similar to a school examination except that in life we give the test first and learn the lesson later.

Can this meditation help us to cope with unfairness of life. Can it help us to live as well as to die?

One of the most memorable death quotes by the French philosopher Montaigne

Men come and they go and they trot and they dance and never a word about death. All well and good, yet when death does come - to them, their wives, their children, their friends, catching them unawares and unprepared, then what storms of passion overwhelm them, what cries, what fury, what despair!…….

To begin depriving death of its greatest advantage over us, let us adopt a way clean contrary to that common one. Let us deprive death of its strangeness, let is frequent it, let us get used to it, let us have nothing more often in mind than death … we do not know where death awaits us so let us wait for it everywhere. To practice death is to practice freedom … a man who has learned how to die has unlearned how to be a slave.”

What more can you ask of death quotes. It describes for us a way to die well and to live well.

This is a way of approaching death that is clean contrary – as Montaigne says - to the common one. And what is the common approach towards death in almost all western societies.

We ignore this fact altogether. We fill our lives with activities, goals, socializing. The most important decision that we may call ourselves to make is where to go on our next vacation. We cannot bear to spend even a moment along with ourselves; we switch on the tube, reach for a book or the telephone, we keep ourselves busy at all times. Isn’t this a sort of running away from ourselves, a way of avoiding meeting ourselves.

This meditation forces us to face ourselves. All of us are completely alone when we die, no friends, no business associates, no credit cards, no money, no family, nobody but ourselves. If we face ourselves when we live we will have a more true foundation on which base our lives that the one that we have now.

Another of the life transforming quotes about death - this time by the Buddha

Of all footprints

That of the elephant is supreme,

Of all mindfulness meditations,

That on death is supreme.

This meditation brings us face to face with the facts that nothing, nothing at all matters ultimately. All that we care for, everything we cherish, we will have to give it all up one day when we die. There is no lasting peace or happiness in this world, nothing that will not be snatched away from us, and we begin to take our lives, our desire and attachments and he needs of the ego less seriously. Why get an ulcer over it? It will not be with us forever.

This, therefore is another of the quotes about death that can teach us to live and to die.

I do not wish to parade myself as very evolved person spiritually but just to illustrate the point I would like to tell you of my own experience on meditation on my passing away. No, I have not gone to a cemetery for many months but I am doing Vipassana meditation, which stresses impermanence of sensations as a mean to becoming enlightened. After some months of Vipassana it very naturally occurred to me that my body, my mind and intellect, my ego in short will die one day. It seems not a very dramatic insight – it seems to be something that I should have realized when I was 5 years old. Maybe I had understood this concept when I was 5 years old – I do not remember. But then I had not made it a part of my life. The concept of my own death was not real to me as it is now. Now I began to make it a part of my day to day thinking.

If I am going to die, if nothing can prevent it then I might as well stop taking thoughts about my own welfare so seriously. A lot of our thinking - my thinking anyway – is obsessive almost. It is geared to help us preserve ourselves, to get what we want. When we really impress on ourselves that nothing can stop is from dying, when the thought of our own death becomes real to us, then this obsessive non-stop clutter of thought quietens down. We find it easier to accept ourselves, to accept the world, to accept our lives with all its imperfections and disappointments.

I can tell you that making the concept of impermanence (which includes death) a part of my life I have found is easier to

1) Stop condemning my self.

2) Easier to let go of attachments and possessions and the habit of grasping. Sogyal Rinpoche compares our trying to make our lives ultra comfortable as trying to decorate a hotel room that we are passing through.

3) Easier to live with disappointments in life. When I myself will not be there one day then who will remain to be disappointed.

4) Easier to accept and forgive others and to let go of grudges.

5) Easier to stop worrying. Why stress ourselves when we have to give everything up ultimately.

6) Easier to dis-identify from my thoughts and feelings, to witness them without reacting, to surrender to them.

And all these changes have taken place in a short period of 6 months. As I had said earlier in this book, it is like coming awake from a dream. Sogyal Rinpoche has written a classic book on life, death and dying. Some of the material which follows are my comments on the material in his book. The name of the book is The Tibetan Book on Living and Dying
Sogyal Rinpoche speaks of the transformation that takes place in us when we embrace changes and impermanence and learn to let go. Just as rocks on the sea shore are not destroyed by the waves but only sculpted into beautiful shapes, so also by going through life with the understanding of death and impermanence we evolve and change. Sogyal Rinpoche speaks of the strong goodness that arises in us, a sense of unshaken confidence in ourselves so that goodness and compassing begin naturally to radiate to others and bring joy to them.

I wish I could comment on this from my own experience but I am – like you – living alone in a large city and I do not belong to a community of practitioners. I do Vipassana mediation but I rarely go to group meditations sessions and in any case in Vipassana people are told not to discuss philosophical concepts or talk of their experiences and insights so I cannot claim to have met a person who displays these qualities. The only thing that I can testify is that my own confidence and composure has grown since I started Vipassana and also that whatever I have written makes sense to me.

Sogyal also speaks of the fear of death as a dragon which guards the greatest treasure from us. The treasure is our own eternal and unending nature of mind. This is what is spoken of by the Hindus as the Brahman, by the Buddhists as Nirvana and by the Christians as God. Sogyal does not claim to have experienced this nature of mind himself but his tradition has taught him about many saints and mystics who have approached it. He speaks of the Tibetan saint Milarepa:

One more of the powerful quotes on death by the Tibetan saint Milarepa

In horror of death I took to the mountains,

Again and again I meditated on the Uncertainty of the hour of death,

Capturing the fastness of the deathless unending Nature of mind,

Now all fear of death is over and done.

Again this not something that I can comment on from my own experience as I have not had such an experience myself and nor have I met anyone else who has done so. But it explains the stress that the Buddhist by on this meditation. It explains why new monks are sent to a cemetery. Facing this fear is something that all of us will have to do sooner or later. And if we do it when we are strong and healthy it will helps is to grow personally and spiritually and make our passing easier when it comes.

So here on this page you have three quotes on death that teach us not only how to die but also how to live. Do not underestimate the power of these death quotes. They can literally and quickly transform your life for the better.

I highly recommend Tibetan Book on Living and Dying It has sold more than two million copies so you may have already read it or heard of it. Read it and meditate on its insights. You will definitely see a transformation in your self.

On to the next chapter on Mindfulness of death – why preparing for our passing is important:

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