Most of us do not think much about death. If we do, we wish for an easy and quick and painless death. As we grow older, our thoughts turn more and more to death and dying.
Much of the terror that diseases like cancer and AIDS inspire is caused not by the fact that we die in the end. After all, all of us must die one day. The terror is caused by the manner of our passing if we contract these dreaded diseases. Our death will be slow, painful and terror stricken.
I vividly remember my grandmother dying. She contracted lung cancer in her late 80s. Towards the end she was unable to breathe. I vividly remember her gasping for breath as she lay on her deathbed.
But the most vividly impression I have of her passing was the terror that she faced as she lay dying. It had an almost physical presence. I was too young and immature then to be able to help in any way.
My grandmother had taken a keen interest in Hindu philosophy all her life and had even written a book on the Bhagavad Gita. None of this helped her however as she lay dying. Mindfulness of impermanence and death is primarily a Buddhist practice and Hindu philosophy does not stress on it very much.
This gives us some pointers for dealing with the fears of death. It will not help if we are well versed in philosophy. The only way we can prepare ourselves for an easy death by practicing contemplation of death when we are strong and healthy, by practicing mindfulness in our daily life and meditation.
For all of us will die as we have lived. Sorry to be blunt about it but this has to be said. When faced with death – the greatest and last crisis of our life – when we are faced with the final journey into the great unknown our minds will react purely out of habit. There is no time then to learn meditation practices and prepare ourselves.
That said I must also mention that the vast majority of deaths in the modern age are peaceful. We will have to face the fear and the terror at the time of our passing but we can reasonably expect to not be in any great physical pain or discomfort given what modern medicines can do.
There are some books and resources, which are insightful and inspiring and which can help you even in this trying time. If you are facing imminent death, or a life threatening illness or of you know of someone close to you in this position, the following books are resources that can help you on your journey:
1. Life after Life – by Raymond Moody
Raymond Moody is a doctor and a man of science and this is truly a ground-breaking book. It details the experiences of people who went through near death experiences (NDE) and who were later revived. Moody interviewed many people who had an NDE and all these experiences had many things in common.
All these experiences confirm that there is life after death. None of the experiences – after the body physically died – was in any way terrifying or unpleasant. This book can help us realize that there is indeed life after death and that though the experience of dying may be painful and unpleasant but that too is only a passing phase and something good awaits us after that.
2) The Power of Now – by Eckhart Tolle
This is a modern spiritual classic. Eckhart Tolle has had mystical experiences and this book reflects those insights. The book is primarily about bringing “present moment awareness” into our lives when we are healthy and strong. Many people facing death have immensely benefited from it.
Eckhart Tolle also unequivocally says that if you want an easy death you simply have to dis-identify from the mind and bring your entire being into the now. Ignore the mind and its fears about the past and the future, live in the now, live in mindfulness.
3) The Tibetan Book on Living and Dying – by Sogyal Rinpache
This book gives us a comprehensive view of the Tibetan way of looking at life and death and the process of dying. It has advice for each of these stages. This book has sold more than two million copies and is referred to by doctors and medical professionals in their care of terminally ill patients. It is more than just a book – it is a reference work.
It also has advice on helping the dying at the time of passing so if someone close to you is terminally ill you owe it to him or her to read this book.
4) The Heart of Understanding – by Thich Nhat Hanh
This short book of 54 pages is a commentary on he Prajnaparamita Sutra. This sutra is the essence of Buddhist teaching and recited daily in Mahayana temples and practice centers throughout the world. Its teaching on inter-being and emptiness, if contemplated upon, can help us see ourselves and the world in a completely different way.
We will then be able to see the universe in our selves and ourselves in the universe. Thich Nhat Hanh explains the sutra warmly and with clarity and compassion. He describes the Heart Sutra as “Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva’s precious gift to us, the gift of fearlessness.”
Contemplation on emptiness and inter-being will take us out of the habit of identifying ourselves with the body, mind, and the eyes and will make us feel at one with the universe.
5) No Death No Fear – by Thich Nhat Hanh
This book specifically tackles the subject of our passing. It explains emptiness, inter-being and impermanence and gives us new insights that are invaluable to the terminally ill. The book also contains the Buddhist practice of touching the Earth. This is a practice explained in detail by Thich Nhat Hanh- that will enable us to understand emptiness and inter-being more deeply. It will also enable us to face our fears about our passing. Highly recommended.
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