The importance of impermanence in our personal philosophy of life can be illustrated by the following story —
The story of the Two Rings
A rich old man died leaving two sons. The sons lived together for a while in a joint family and then quarreled and decided to separate. All the property of their father was divided between the two sons, half and half. After all the matters were settled the two sons came upon a small packet contained in the personal effects of their father. On opening the packet they found two rings inside. One was an expensive diamond ring and the other was a cheap silver ring costing only a few rupees.
On seeing the diamond ring the elder brother developed greed and wanted the ring for himself. He said to the younger brother “It seems that the diamond ring is not the earning of our father but is s family heirloom of our forefathers. That is why it has been kept separately from his other property. Being the elder brother I will take the diamond ring. You had better take the silver one.”
The younger brother smiled and agreed.
The two brothers separated and went their different ways. The younger brother looked at the silver ring and thought, “I can understand any father wanting to pass on the diamond ring to his children but why did he preserve this cheap silver ring so carefully?”
He took out the silver ring from his finger and examined it. He found some words engraved on it “This too shall pass.” The younger brother thought, “Oh, this was the mantra of my father; this too shall pass.” He replaced the ring back on his finger.
Time passed. Both the brother lived their lives and went through the ups and downs of life. When spring came the elder brother became highly elated, losing the balance of his mind. When winter came he went into a deep depression again losing his mental balance.
He became tense, developing hypertension. Unable to sleep at night he started using sleeping pills and tranquilizers and stronger drugs. Finally he reached the stage when he required electric shock treatment. This was the brother with the diamond ring.
As for the younger brother, when spring came, he enjoyed it. He did not run away from it but looked at his ring and remembered, “This will also change.” When it changed he would smile and say “Well I knew it was going to change. It has changed, so what.”
When autumn or winter came he again looked at his ring and remembered, “This will also change.” He did not grow depressed or angry knowing that it will change and yes it also changed, it passed away. Of all the ups and downs of life, all the vicissitudes of life he knew that nothing is eternal, that everything comes just to pass away. He did not lose the balance of his mind and he lived a peaceful, happy life.
This was the brother with the silver ring.
This story illustrates how the Buddhist concept of impermanence can be made part of your basic philosophy of life.
The obvious message of this story is that if we forget about impermanence and develop attachments to various situations in life we will suffer when those situations pass away. But all situations are more than just impermanent. They are also UNSATISFACTORY.
You may not agree with me at first. Some situations – you will say – are certainly satisfactory. If you get that prized job, earn a million dollars, get married (or get divorced), your children succeed in life, then you will certainly be happy. This is what we think at first. Certainly we will be satisfied for a while but then that satisfaction itself will pass away as we look for the next “success.” Thus impermanence makes itself known in all aspects of our lives.
If you do not agree with me on this point then ask yourself if you can ever hope to attain anything in life that provides lasting and permanent happiness. When we are hungry we eat and are satisfied for a while. But then the hunger comes up again.
We get that job or that prized contract, we feel happy for a while but then again we feel dissatisfied and want something more or something different. We are permanently in a state of dissatisfaction whether we attain our objective or not.
Even if we were to get an experience that will keep us ecstatically happy for the rest of our lives, consider that we will ourselves die one day and then who will remain to enjoy the experience or benefit or to suffer the hardship? Impermanence has the last word.
There is nothing in life that is worth taking too seriously. Nothing at all. Neither good nor bad, nor success nor failure, nor our spiritual development, nor our family or friends, nor life itself. All is impermanent and unsatisfactory. There is nothing that can provide us with losing and permanent peace and happiness.
This is not to say you should give up your job or business or stop supporting your family. Certainly we must continue to do our duties. But recognize that it is all impermanent and unsatisfactory and that you will not achieve lasting peace or happiness even if you succeed in your objectives.
This is also not to say you should become unfeeling or insensitive. Rather, recognizing that all things will pass away and are impermanent will help you enjoy them all the more for the brief period that they are in your life.
If you have plenty of food to eat, but you know that will not always be the case, wouldn’t you savor each bite that you have today? If your children are young and playful (and maybe even a little annoying at times), won’t you enjoy their company and playfulness all the more when you realize that one day soon they will be teenagers who will rebel and maybe even resent you as a parent?
Alternatively, if you are at a low point in your life, but you recognize this low point will not last, doesn’t that give you hope?
Recognizing that all things will pass away helps us to enjoy life moment-to-moment, stay centered, and bring balance to our lives.
I have made this line of reasoning a part of my life and am now so much more at peace with my self that the whirlwinds of everyday life no longer disturb me.
I was reading a book on how to stop smoking and the author of the book said that if only he could make me experience the sense of well being by not smoking for 3 weeks then his job would be done. Nothing more would be required to convince me to quit.
I am in a similar situation now to the author of that book. If I could help you experience the peace and the sense of security and confidence from making this line of reasoning a part of your life then my job would be done.
But just as I have to quit smoking on my own, so also you will have to think over this material and make it a part of your daily life and day to day thoughts. The benefits will come and will not be long in coming.
The biggest benefit I have gained from making this reasoning a part of my life is that now I am more accepting of myself. If I find myself criticizing myself then I tell myself that this situation here is impermanent and unsatisfactory. So why take my faults and defects so seriously?
Realizing the impermanent nature of all things is an important step to gaining peace of mind, happiness, and enjoyment out of life.
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