Transforming Pain and Suffering - gaining Peace

Pain and suffering are an integral part of our lives. We have come to accept them as a fact of life. We do not know that it is entirely possible to transform it into peace and joy and thus grow spiritually.

The first thing to realize is that living as we do in a world of duality we cannot escape either from happiness or unhappiness. This is the world which we have divided into subject and object, hot and cold, male and female and as on. We would like to be happy and would like to avoid unhappiness. But they are really two sides of the same coin. We cannot have one side without the other – it is the nature of the world that both come together. If we have a toothache we suffer. After a visit to the dentist we are rid of the toothache and we feel happy. It is in the nature of the world that both happiness and unhappiness go together.

But we can learn to transform our unhappy and painful feelings. Should we do so we gain in peace and joy. This is an internally generated state of mind. We can develop the ability to be peaceful and happy whatever the outward circumstances.

Transforming pain and suffering to gain peace is similar to using organic manure to grow plants. We are making best use of objects which we cannot avoid in this world.

The first step to transforming pain and suffering is to witness it compassionately to be one with it. This is completely opposite to our initial reaction. We tend to avoid our pain and suffering by escaping from it. We go to a movie, socialize, take alcohol, or lose ourselves in work. Anything that will take us away from our pain. We tend to avoid witnessing and being one with our pain.

What I am recommending is the exact opposite. Witness your pain and suffering, be one with it, do not try to hide from it. In this the regular practice of meditation is invaluable as it forces us to face ourselves. While doing meditation we face up to all the pain, anger, fear, hatreds, resentments that we have inside of us. Practicing meditation forces us to face up to all these painful and less desirable aspects of our being.

I meditate regularly and can tell you from first hand experience that if you face these painful feelings, if you just surrender to them and accept their existence they lose their power to make us unhappy. Buddhist philosophy tells us that all physical and mental objects in our Universe are impermanent. If you face up to your pain and suffering, just by your doing so, the painful feeling begins to fade away.

But this is just the first step. The next step is to understand the cause of our pain. It is exactly the same as our undergoing medical tests to finding the cause of disease when we fall ill. The doctor is determined to help us and does all sorts of test and analysis to find out the cause of our ailment.

So also we should be determined to get to the roots of our pain and suffering. Witnessing our pain, being one with it will help us to intuitively understand it. We can also analyze the causes intellectually and ask the help of our family, friends or our spiritual guide (if we have one).

The third stage is realization and can be summed up by the statement, “The suffering has been understood”. We understand the causes and know how to be free of our suffering. It is similar to the doctor successfully diagnosing our ailment and prescribing the night medicine.

A word about feelings of guilt, shame and past regrets. Often we find that we are regretting the way we have behaved earlier in life. Often there is nothing we can do but to learn to live with these painful feelings. Do not avoid them or try to escape from them. They will fade away in time and you will find yourself looking back at past occasions when you behaved badly without any feelings of guilt. Do not analyze or think in words as you witness your past painful memories. This analysis comes later. Just be at one with your feelings of guilt. They will fade away in time leaving you free. If you can understand the causes why you behaved badly you can avoid such situations in future.

I hope you enjoyed this article and that it will be useful to you.

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Stay tuned for more articles in this continuing series.

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