Transforming Pain and Suffering - gaining Peace
Pain and suffering are an integral part of our lives. We have
come to accept them as a fact of life. We do not know that it is
entirely possible to transform it into peace and
joy and thus grow spiritually.
The first thing to realize is that living as we do in a world of
duality we cannot escape either from happiness or unhappiness.
This is the world which we have divided into subject and object,
hot and cold, male and female and as on. We would like to be
happy and would like to avoid unhappiness. But they are really
two sides of the same coin. We cannot have one side without the
other – it is the nature of the world that both come together.
If we have a toothache we suffer. After a visit to the dentist
we are rid of the toothache and we feel happy. It is in the
nature of the world that both happiness and unhappiness go
together.
But we can learn to transform our unhappy and painful feelings.
Should we do so we gain in peace and joy. This is an internally
generated state of mind. We can develop the ability to be
peaceful and happy whatever the outward circumstances.
Transforming pain and suffering to gain peace is similar to
using organic manure to grow plants. We are making best use of
objects which we cannot avoid in this world.
The first step to transforming pain and suffering is to witness
it compassionately to be one with it. This is completely
opposite to our initial reaction. We tend to avoid our pain and suffering by
escaping from it. We go to a movie, socialize, take alcohol, or
lose ourselves in work. Anything that will take us away from our
pain. We tend to avoid witnessing and being one with our pain.
What I am recommending is the exact opposite. Witness your pain and suffering,
be one with it, do not try to hide from it. In this the regular
practice of meditation is invaluable as it forces us to face
ourselves. While doing meditation we face up to all the pain,
anger, fear, hatreds, resentments that we have inside of us.
Practicing meditation forces us to face up to all these painful
and less desirable aspects of our being.
I meditate regularly and can tell you from first hand experience
that if you face these painful feelings, if you just surrender
to them and accept their existence they lose their power to make
us unhappy. Buddhist philosophy tells us that all physical and
mental objects in our Universe are impermanent. If you face up
to your pain and suffering, just by your doing so, the painful feeling begins
to fade away.
But this is just the first step. The next step is to understand
the cause of our pain. It is exactly the same as our undergoing
medical tests to finding the cause of disease when we fall ill.
The doctor is determined to help us and does all sorts of test
and analysis to find out the cause of our ailment.
So also we should be determined to get to the roots of our pain and suffering.
Witnessing our pain, being one with it will help us to
intuitively understand it. We can also analyze the causes
intellectually and ask the help of our family, friends or our
spiritual guide (if we have one).
The third stage is realization and can be summed up by the
statement, “The suffering has been understood”. We understand
the causes and know how to be free of our suffering. It is
similar to the doctor successfully diagnosing our ailment and
prescribing the night medicine.
A word about feelings of guilt, shame and past regrets. Often we
find that we are regretting the way we have behaved earlier in
life. Often there is nothing we can do but to learn to live with
these painful feelings. Do not avoid them or try to escape from
them. They will fade away in time and you will find yourself
looking back at past occasions when you behaved badly without
any feelings of guilt. Do not analyze or think in words as you
witness your past painful memories. This analysis comes later.
Just be at one with your feelings of guilt. They will fade away
in time leaving you free. If you can understand the causes why
you behaved badly you can avoid such situations in future.
I hope you enjoyed this article and that it will be useful to
you.
If you have any comments or questions please visit
The Eastern Philosophy Blog
and post them. I visit the Blog daily and
promise to reply as promptly as I can.
Stay tuned for more articles in this continuing series.
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